SIMILES

As blue as the air in a marine barracks
As camouflaged as a blonde in a burka
As common as tattoos on porn stars
As faithful as a plain, fat girl
As hard as Chinese algebra
As high as a sherpa on meth
As low as a mole’s ankle bracelet
As polite as a mean kid before Christmas
As purple as a prince’s pajamas
As rare as a caucasian cornerback
As red as his face when he walked out of the Ladies Room
As shocking as an original speech by a football coach
As stupid as a carjacking on a ferry
As suggestve as wearing a condom in her hair
As unlikely as an anorexic linebacker